I won’t point out the resemblance that such a hell carries with the earthbound volcanic lava that inspired its imagining. And so, smart cookies all through human history looking for power and social control have levered these two emotions – love and fear – into different versions of the same fantastic story – do the right thing and the reward of eternal life is yours, misbehave, or be born into a heathen society, and hellfire awaits. And certainly, the idea of an afterlife makes it easier for us to contemplate that fearful day we too become a corpse. We love our family and friends, the grief we feel when they die is so sharp and painful that we wishful-think heaven into existence, so we can be consoled by imagining a heavenly reunion one day. Look, there may WELL be a Me who conjures and weaves the universe into and out of existence, perhaps I simply AM existence, or the universe, but if there is such a Thing as Me, I bear bugger-all resemblance to any of your (quite frankly hilarious) personifications and imaginings so far.īut I get it, young Latino Firebrand with sticker-laden surfboard, much religious faith comes from perfectly understandable human traits, many of them very sweet. (And yes I’m sticking to the Bible here, ’cos that’s the Supernatural Deity belief system you were born into.) There are hundreds of such nonsenses I was supposed to have dictated to people over the 1500 years the Bible was cobbled together, but it was all imagined! Yarns repeated often and solemnly enough in a superstitious world to become real. Just for the record, I NEVER told anyone to cut off unfaithful wives’ hands (Deuteronomy 25:11-12) or said I’d force parents to eat their own children as punishment for not listening to me (Leviticus 26:27-30).īelieve me when I say, well-to-do master of air and rail game, I told no-one anything of the sort. Whoever wrote the books of Leviticus and Deuteronomy had some issues best sorted out with a psychologist, rather than turned into revenge porn. It’s not rocket science.Īnd, seriously, there’s some bollocks – supposedly the Word of Me – in these page turners that hasn’t aged well.
Every version of Me you’ve dreamed up is pure speculation, every creed, book or scripture written merely a mirror of the time and place they’re written, and doesn’t stand up to any objective measure.ĭon’t get me wrong, cocksure globetrotting wave-rider, there’s some top advice in those books, we’re all fans of the decency, love, and forgiveness parts of the Bible and the Quran etc, but there’s no secret, exclusive moral code contained within that can’t be practiced using your basic, garden-variety, secular common sense – treating others how you’d like them to treat you, etc. Much as I appreciate the shout outs in your post-heat interviews and Instagram posts, it’s time to stop invoking My name and giving Me credit for your competitive success.įirst of all, just like every other human that’s ever been on this planet, and any of the thousand or so religions that have been cooked up, you’ve got the whole God thing spectacularly wrong.